Mirror Image

Before I reflect on my writing like I was planning, and on the subject of mirrors, I realised that I am actually quite self-conscious.

What prompted my little discovery, you ask? Well, I let my friend cut my hair.

I know, it sounds like the start of a bad joke. 

I did laugh actually, when it happened. You see, I let her dye my hair and I was feeling quite relaxed so I said she could go ahead with the masterpiece she had in mind and cut my hair.

She gets to my fringe and – chop! Off it goes. So I have little baby hairs in the front of my head. It’s not really a fringe, it’s just… there, it’s that short.

I looked like an 80s rocker. So attractive, as you can imagine. Anyway, I woke up and mum whisked me off to the hairdressers so now I have short boy hair… I like short boy hair, on other people that can pull it off. I’m not one of them.

My family assure me it suits me but I would still feel more comfortable with something covering my forehead. I don’t know why exactly. It’s not like my forehead is private but for some reason showing it feels similar to wearing short shorts or a bikini.

I could walk around with my hand on forehead. I’m sure that’d work.

Now perhaps I’m not self-conscious – I think even the most confident person would feel a little awkward if they got a bit of a shear but I don’t like not feeling comfortable in my own skin. 

It’s… uncomfortable.

Anyway, moving on from that, I’ll go back to my main point.

I realised a while ago that many of my characters are paragons of virtue, they fight evil, they’re self-sacrificing – the kind of people who act as the heroes in fairy tales. This isn’t a problem, per say, but I want my characters to be relatable. I want them to be people that screw up so when you’re reading you can be like, I get that. I get where they’re coming from.

Saints are respected but I don’t know many people that say, “Oh, I want to be just like him when I grow up and die in place of this guy because he deserves to live (apparently more than I do)”.

I mean, they’re crazy people, completely amazing, but crazy. I’ll be the first to admit that while I try to put others first, there are times when I can’t help but push them aside for myself.

So I’ve been trying to give my characters vices. Real vices that real people have. 

I have had to make my characters make mistakes and be real dicks sometimes. I don’t like it.

But isn’t that the kind of character you’re attracted to? 

Imma’ be honest and say if I’m reading a romance, I’m usually attracted to the funny, sarcastic, witty best-friend that gets rejected for the serious, moody stranger. 

What about you, what sort of characters do you swoon for?

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Love me? 

 

Musing

I was just thinking of how my writing style has changed over time. My brother told me the other day that it’s become more mature. I was like, “Thaaaanks?”

Is that a good thing? 

I hope so.

I asked my friend to look over my draft and she said, “There’s too many descriptions!”

O_O

Too many???

When I was younger I used to write almost half a page on how a character might look or how their house looked. It was ridiculous. 

Yes, I was one of them. 

I thought I’d gotten better but apparently I let my determination to paint a visual picture get the better of me. I still can’t help myself from making disgustingly common cliches like; her hair was a shiny ebony, falling like waves down her back. 

But when I want to write how something looks without saying how it looks, it gets hard. I’ve been trying to work on putting pieces together, giving the readers bits of information now and then, rather than chucking it on them like a bucket of cold water.

Man, this shit is hard!

On another note, completely unrelated, I read this article…

I’m not going to give you the link because when was given the link, I wished I hadn’t. In fact, it’s been days since I’ve seen the article and I still find myself fuming about it, thinking of arguments I could say that I didn’t post in reply.

So basically, this guy started writing about how women don’t need self-esteem and how it is in fact detrimental to the female… everything.

He then preceded to say that the only important jobs – the jobs that keep our world rotating (basically military jobs) are male dominated jobs and women only pretend to work hard and like to think their jobs make a difference when in fact, they don’t.

Well, either this loser has no idea how the world works or… well, that’s all really. Yes, military people do great work, they protect our country and all of those good things. I have no idea what it would be like to give up everything for your country, nor will I.

However, the world isn’t that black and white. The world is intricate. Government workers, doctors, teachers, bankers – without these people, without people healing people, without people running things, raising young people, where would we be?

I don’t freaking know, ’cause we have those people around.

Anyway, he goes on to say that a confident woman is unattractive and someone that is insecure and needs a man not only completes a males identity but is essential to the woman’s own sense of self.

So he tells men they aren’t real men unless a woman wants them.

My brother said, “It’s nice to be loved though, and needed.”

Yes my friends, it certainly is. To say that you aren’t a real man without a woman that wants you though…? Ouch.

Also, I think this guy – not my brother by the way, this other guy – is confusing emotional openness and vulnerability with insecurity.

I agree when he says that you need to be emotionally vulnerable in a relationship however, wholeheartedly. Being in a relationship is hard  and being honest and open is freaking scary but you need to be able to reveal yourself to your partner, to trust them and give yourself to them as they give themselves to you. Being emotionally vulnerable however, does not mean being insecure.  

Someone may be a very confident person and still be emotionally secure enough to open themselves up. A woman can still be confident but feel safe enough to share openly with her partner. 

He says that women are taught to build walls as they grow up and maybe that’s true, maybe we are harder to get to know, maybe our walls are higher and maybe we’ve added barbed wire but that isn’t true of all women and even if it was, it doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. It just means that we also want to feel safe in our own bodies. We actually enjoy having self-esteem.

What irritated me most about his post was that he said how unattractive confidence was and that men only want women with no self-esteem because apparently having no self-esteem means you’re more emotionally available. 

I’ve found that women who are insecure may be more emotionally unavailable because they do see themselves in such poor light they don’t think anyone would love them. 

What I didn’t understand was all the people agreeing with him! People even added other journal articles, one captioned: Written by a woman!

It was about how women lose themselves in sex and men are completely in control and apparently in that time women are just a man’s outlet, a tool to be used to satisfy him. 

Lovely.

You know, any argument may sound firm if you find enough supporting work, that doesn’t necessarily make it fact.

Anyway, I just had to get it out. It’s been pissing me off and it’s been disturbing my sleep and showers. I don’t like it.

I hated my brother for a little while because he was the one who sent it to me. I think he found my reaction funny.

So, that’s… that. 

What do you guys think about what this guy wrote? Do you agree, disagree? Or has there been something you’ve read lately that grated your goat?

Also, please give me any suggestions for how I might go about fixing my overly descriptive issues.

And I leave you with David Tennant because he is attractive and lovely and Scottish. He also played Doctor Who and that just makes him awesome.

This image is not mine at all. I stole it from tumblr ’cause I’m a cool kid.

Go here to find it! 

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